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January 13, 2014 / Issue Volume 26, Number 1, Winter 2014 / Arts & Theology

Love Song

By Christy Hildebrand

Christy Hildebrand

Christy Hildebrand (MCS ’13) works as a mental health nurse in Surrey, BC.  For her Integrative Project in the Arts and Theology, she wrote a YA novel, Such Stuff and Substance (available in the Regent Library), which explores themes of addiction and grace.

I stand on the street corner and cry out:

I charge you, my sisters. Do not awaken love until it so desires.

I didn't know. I didn't know, my sisters. They never told me. In all the lessons, they never told me it would feel right. They never told me it would feel holy. "You complete me" was supposed to be a happy ending.

My lover is strong and lithe; like a thoroughbred among the wildflowers is my lover among the maidens. At his glance, my insides quiver. I bask in his notice. Soft am I, but now all-together lovely. He calls to me, and I am home.

Have you seen my lover? Tell me, my sisters, have you seen him whom my heart loves? I grasped his shirt, but still he left. I opened the door for him, but he did not return. I searched the streets, but could not find him. The policemen, making their rounds, bruised me when they found me. If you see my lover, will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love.

I am my beloved's and he is mine. I lay my heart at his feet and welcome his worship. My senses are filled, until I know only you, my darling, my beautiful one. You are my life, my breath, my all. Oh, that we could fly away and be consumed together. Come to me. Come quickly, my love.

I charge you, my sisters. Do not awaken love. Do not awaken love until it so desires. For love is as strong as death, its bonds unyielding as the grave. Many waters cannot quench love.

I am overcome. I am eaten with need. Once, I was known for my insight. Now I cannot tell—I cannot tell where this is, who you are. I hear a story playing, faintly familiar. Once, I knew the ending.

Grieve with me, my sisters. Grieve for my remnant dreams. I feast and choke on a throat filled with ashes. I am a woman undone.

My Love is leading me into the desert.

I charge you, my sisters, do not awaken love before it so desires.

As the sparrow with her young, I charge you, watch over your hearts. For love is as strong as death, its bonds unyielding as the grave.

My Love is leading me into the desert. There he will allure and speak tenderly to me, until...

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